


Experimentation

by orphan_account



Series: Danganronpa smut fics [8]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Blood Kink, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Somnophilia, it will get more fucked up lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:39:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kamukura Izuru has many desires. Naegi Makoto will be the one to fulfill them, and consent is nothing but a loose guideline for Kamukura to play with as he steps onto an increasingly slippery slope heading towards a bottom he cannot predict.
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru/Naegi Makoto
Series: Danganronpa smut fics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572568
Comments: 21
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> have you ever wanted a fic where Kamukura drugs Naegi to have increasingly unsafe sex with him? well, here it is! Enjoy.

It’s a rather simple, plain looking liquid, Kamukura thinks to himself as he takes the small vial and uncaps it, tilting its contents out into the cup of tea he’d offered to prepare for Naegi. The drug mixes in, leaving no noticeable odour or discolouration. He’d designed it to be tasteless, scentless, completely undetectable - but he supposes he didn’t need to go to such lengths.

He looks over his shoulder at his partner, working away at some paperwork he’d agreed to take home.

Naegi is a very trusting person, and not altogether observant to small details. He relies on Kamukura and Kirigiri for such things. Kamukura could feed him anything, easily explain any oddities away, and Naegi would trust his word. It is both a strength and a weakness - and it is that weakness Kamukura will take advantage of.

He takes out a second vial, one for himself, and stirs it into his own cup. His mouth almost curves upwards in anticipation before his control slips back into place and he takes Naegi’s tea to him. Naegi gives him a simple, happy smile in return before taking a sip.

Kamukura watches the column of his throat work to swallow the tea and feels a responding worm of arousal dig into him. The drug will take approximately one hour and forty-five minutes to work through Naegi’s system, more than enough time for them to get into bed and fall asleep. Even one sip should theoretically be enough, according to Kamukura’s calculations, but his plan becomes more and more likely to succeed the more the drug is consumed.

He patiently sips his own drugged tea as Naegi finishes up his cup, arousal burning low in his gut.

Sex with Naegi is satisfying, if generally predictable. He enjoys the sensation of being fucked, of opening himself and allowing Naegi to pleasure himself with his body, to the point where he had concluded that his arousal mainly revolved around knowing that Naegi was enjoying using him. It seems only natural to him that concept evolved into this plan.

He had been created as a tool, expected to throw away his autonomy for the people who worshipped talent above all. It feels only fair for him to want to become a tool for the person most determined to give him back his life, and who finds talent less important than a person’s heart.

To be used, defiled, _dirtied_ by someone like that… Kamukura finds himself desiring that above all else.

He will be fascinated to see the outcome of this gamble in the morning. If the plan fails, he will simply need to adjust. If it succeeds… He takes a calming breath to stop himself from growing too excited, somewhat delighted at the difficulty of it when so much of his life is defined by utter ease. Surrendering all control, allowing himself to be used completely and utterly as a toy - he hopes dearly that Naegi does not disappoint.

When they finally get into bed and share a chaste kiss goodnight, Kamukura feels the sleeping drug working its way through his system, dragging his eyelids down against his will. He turns himself onto his front, faced towards Naegi’s relaxed body, and falls into a deep, dreamless sleep as the aphrodisiac slowly digs its claws into his lover.

* * *

It’s _hot._ It feels suffocatingly hot, his body slick and feverish, clothing sticking against his skin and the blankets trapping the heat against him until it feels like he can’t breathe.

He groans and pushes the blankets away from him, grimacing when the rustle of cloth against him feels rougher than sandpaper, skin uncomfortably sensitive. The cool air against his overheated body is relieving, the sweat coating him cooling and drying slightly.

His eyes slowly adjust to the dark of the room, eyelids fluttering when the heat in his body only worsens as he lies there, shirt soaked through, until even the cool air can’t cut through it. It’s as though he’s laying in a sauna, the thick humid air making it hard for him to breathe properly. He begins almost panting as he tries to calm himself down.

Is he sick? He hadn’t felt ill during the day, and Kamukura typically knows before he does anyways, warning him beforehand to ingest more liquids or get more rest to fight off the worst of the illness. But if this isn't a fever, he’s not sure what it could be. His mind feels fuzzy, and his body is almost trembling from a strange tension winding up inside of him.

He tilts his head and looks at his sleeping partner. Kamukura looks peaceful, laying on his front with his arms tucked up under the pillow and face angled towards him. He’s surprised - Kamukura’s such a light sleeper. Him not awakening when Naegi shoved the covers down is a bit surprising.

He doesn’t seem disturbed by the strange heat, either. Naegi reaches over and brushes a hand against his cheek before he can properly digest that thought, sighing a breath of relief when he strokes Kamukura's cool skin. Kamukura stays asleep - or at the very least he continues pretending to be asleep. He’s never been quite able to tell.

“Kamukura?” Naegi asks softly. He doesn’t receive an answer.

Naegi looks at him a little longer, feeling strangely entranced, eyes tracing his soft mouth, mind suddenly picturing the many times he’d kissed those lips, or had them wrapped around his cock as Kamukura sucked him off -

He sucks in a sharp breath when the heat blanketing him turns blistering hot and his dick begins filling out, hardening with those images filling his mind’s eye. Kamukura’s tongue pressing hard against the vein on the underside as he takes him all the way down into his throat, drooling and looking up at him with expectant red eyes until Naegi threads his fingers through his hair and obediently fucks his mouth. He’s never done that with a partner before, not until Kamukura, who seems to love being treated roughly more than anything.

Would Kamukura mind being woken up, just to take care of him…?

He traces a tongue over his bottom lip anxiously, cock completely hard now as he stares at Kamukura’s sleeping expression, a hand adjusting himself. Surely he wouldn’t mind, right?

“Kamukura, are you awake?” When he still receives no answer, he frowns. Just that should have been enough to wake him, but if he’s that deeply asleep… Naegi can’t find it in him to disturb his sleep just to suck him off. He flushes at the perverted idea and shakes himself, trying to regain control.

He slips a hand under the band of his boxers, moaning shakily as he wraps it around his erection. He can’t quite find it in himself to look away from Kamukura though, jerking himself off with the memories of their nights shared together, bodies entangled and pleasuring one another.

The dizzying arousal blooming low in his stomach sends more vivid ideas into his head against his will as he looks at Kamukura’s soft mouth and imagines the way he looks on his knees.

He could open Kamukura’s slack jaw and slip his cock inside, that warm, wet heat and fuck his mouth just as he likes until Kamukura wakes up. It would be loose and sloppy without Kamukura sucking him down, and if he came, he could spill right down his throat, or all over his sleeping face, painting over closed lashes and relaxed lips.

The fantasy is so clear, for a moment he finds himself kneeling up to go through with it without even realizing it, stopping still when he comes back to himself. He’s so hard that it _hurts,_ but he can’t do that to Kamukura. Without his consent like that, it would be…

He grits his teeth and speeds his hand up, gasping with how sensitive it feels, more than normal. But it feels _good_ too, far too good. It only takes a few more strokes before the tension breaks and he comes in his hand, twisting and pulling when the feeling doesn’t flag and his cock stays hard and needy.

It’s so hot in this room he feels like he’s melting, not enough air, not enough space in his head left to _think._

With some effort, he kicks off his boxers and pulls off his shirt, wiping the mess on his hand off. Why is he so warm? And why is he still so hard? There’s something _wrong_ with him, and he doesn’t think it’s a fever. All he can think about is needing to touch Kamukura, craving relief - an escape from the heat with his cool skin, and an escape from this unbearable arousal that’s making his head swim.

He sits up, head swimming and body swaying. With a clumsy motion that he barely processes mentally before he’s doing it, he throws a leg over Kamukura’s thighs and settles himself over his sleeping body, erection bobbing with need. Shaking hands brush long hair out of the way and he slowly eases Kamukura’s shirt up until his pale back is exposed.

Naegi lowers himself down until he’s flush against Kamukura’s back, sighing in relief at the brief escape from the heat burning him through. His dick aches, trapped between their bodies, and Naegi struggles with himself for a moment. This much… surely would be okay, wouldn’t it? Humping Kamukura until he comes, surely that isn’t too much of a breach of trust.

With that shaky reasoning, he starts rubbing his cock against Kamukura’s ass, back arching and body straining to keep his motions calm when all he _really_ wants is to spread Kamukura’s legs and fuck him -

He bites his lip and forces that thought out of his head. That’s too much - too far - he can’t. He _can’t._

He pants and moans against Kamukura’s neck, nuzzling against the soft skin and silky hair as his hips grind against his sleeping partner. He shoves a little harder against the soft cotton, dick slotting nicely against him, thoughts sizzling away into fog until there’s almost no room left for anything but the desperate need to come.

His cock is drooling, hard and red and painfully aroused, smearing against the cloth and leaving stains that Kamukura would only need to glance at in the morning to realize what he’d done.

“ _Kamukura,_ ” he whines, sounding pitiful even to his own ears, hands fisting in the sheets on either side of them.

His hips stutter when his cock drags against the fabric and has just enough resistance for him to pretend for a moment that he’s sinking inside of Kamukura’s body. _Fuck,_ he wants to so badly. Kamukura always feels so good, legs wrapped around his waist or pushed back until his knees are pressed against his chest, accepting Naegi into him so well it’s like he’d been made for it. But like this, with him asleep, what would it feel like?

He grits his teeth and tries to ignore the increasingly disturbing thoughts racing through his mind - _Kamukura might not even_ mind _getting fucked in his sleep_ \- focusing instead on getting off like this. Just imagining fucking him is getting him close to the edge, the excitement twining at the base of his spine crackling and blazing brighter.

The sudden rush of heat flaring under his skin takes him off-guard, dick pulsing and spurting out come between their bodies before he can pull away and stop himself from staining Kamukura’s clothing further. He jerks his hips a few times, groaning against his partner’s back and striping his pants and lower back with semen. When the rush fades, he finds his cock still hard and red.

“What…?” he whimpers brokenly, body trembling from his second orgasm.

He loosely wraps his hand around it, sucking in a sharp breath at the tender feeling. What’s wrong with him? What is _happening?_ Why can’t his body just relax?

He looks down at the smooth back under him, a little shiny with the sweat he’d rubbed off onto him and the pearly white come collecting in the small bend of his spine. His eyes trail down further to the swell of his ass that he’d been desperately humping against, a wild thought crossing his mind - that maybe what he _needs_ is…

It _hurts._ And he can barely think straight with the rush of euphoria mixing with the volatile need. Before he can stop himself, shaky hands hook into the band of Kamukura’s pants.

This is wrong - he _knows_ it’s wrong. Somewhere inside of his skull that thought rattles around guiltily as he pulls down Kamukura’s pants and boxers, easing them down to his thighs. But the guilt isn’t enough to stop his dick from twitching eagerly as he palms Kamukura’s ass and lines himself up against his hole. It feels so hot already, just holding himself against him like this.

It’s _wrong._ Wrong, wrong, wrong -

He presses the tip of his messy, aching erection against him and distantly hopes that Kamukura would awaken now before he can go through with it, but he doesn’t. And so Naegi pushes forward, breaching him dry, the rim stretching tautly around him. It’s tight and hot, on the edge of being painful for him, and he can’t imagine how it must feel for Kamukura, but he _can’t stop._

He fucks him shallowly, overwhelmed at the blistering heat of relief and arousal coursing through him at _finally_ being inside of Kamukura. He braces himself and forces himself all the way in, Kamukura’s limp, unconscious body opening under him, until his hips are flush against him.

A sob shudders through him when he’s fully sheathed, cock throbbing with need and mind fully comprehending exactly what he’s just done. He’s raping the person he loves. Without Kamukura’s consent, without his knowledge, Naegi had mounted him and _raped_ him.

A slithering feeling of shame and stomach-churning guilt eases itself into him, sitting heavily in the back of his skull as his dick stays hard and he can’t quite manage to stop himself from rocking his hips back and forth. It just feels too _good_ to stop.

He’ll beg for forgiveness when it’s done, when this strange fever has passed and he’s in control of himself again, in the morning when Kamukura awakens to feel how Naegi had fucked him while he’d been unconscious. It’s vile - reprehensible - Kamukura may _never_ forgive him. But the delirious joy of having him so snug around him, of being inside of him, is enough to mute that voice of guilt.

His hand, Kamukura’s body, neither compared to being inside of him like this.

That dizzying haze of arousal builds, pooling in his gut and making him pant at the unbearable heat. He’s going to _die -_ he needs to come - he needs it -

He almost sobs in relief when his balls draw up and the suffocating heat thins for a moment.

He fucks as deep as he can as he orgasms, coming inside of Kamukura, a guttural groan of relief ripping out of him. It feels _amazing -_ his mind feels like it’s melting. Jerking off had felt nowhere near as satisfying. He’d been right. He’d needed Kamukura.

“You’re so good, Kamukura, so _good,_ ” he smiles dreamily against his partner’s back, uncaring he can’t hear the slurred praise, rocking against him until he’s finished -

But... he’s _not_ finished. The blissful feeling of satisfaction fades away as he realizes he’s still hard and the feverish heat crawling over his skin hasn’t dimmed in the slightest, returning with full force and more. What is _happening_ to him? He pulls out, a strand of come leaking out of Kamukura’s stretched out hole as he does and his thoughts blur.

He hooks his arms under Kamukura’s shoulders, bowing his head and biting at his neck as he shoves roughly back in. His mind feels numb. He’s already raped him once. Does it really make it worse doing it again? And he’s still _asleep._ Part of him, small and muted, feels concerned, but it does nothing to stop him from fucking him again.

His body twitches at the overstimulation, drooling and panting at the excruciating pleasure as he uses his grip on Kamukura to fuck him harder. It sounds wet and filthy with his first load of semen slicking the way, fueling the arousal boiling in his veins.

It gets easier and easier to thrust into him with the mess he’d left inside, looser than he’s used to without Kamukura keeping himself nicely tight around him.

Naegi unhooks one arm from Kamukura’s shoulder and grabs his hair, pulling his head back in hopes of forcing him awake, barely conscious of his actions any more. He just _needs._ He _needs_ Kamukura. Kamukura’s eyes don’t even flutter. If Naegi couldn’t see him slowly breathing, he’d wonder if Kamukura had died during the night and he was just fucking his body. Part of him isn’t entirely sure if that would have stopped him anyways.

He unthreads his fingers from Kamukura’s hair, letting his head ungracefully drop back to the pillow. He’s too far gone to care. The sensation _hurts_ but his body is too hot and shivery to pull out. It feels addicting, digging into his brain until he can’t even imagine stopping. He wants more, and more and more until he’s not being devoured by all this need.

It takes longer this time for him to reach that peak, whimpering as it approaches, guts twisting up and the rush of euphoria almost suffocating. He comes inside of Kamukura again, the slick mess of it making an even filthier noise when he keeps fucking without pause.

“I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry,” he cries weakly, eyes burning with tears, clawing against Kamukura’s hips to draw them up and give him a better angle to drive into.

He’s filthy - worse than an animal.

He’s not quite sure how many times that pattern repeats - the inescapable heat filling him to the brim until his mind is dizzy and drunk, full of white noise, blinding him to everything but his need to come, and then the pleasure coated with pain and stomach turning stimulation that makes him feel like he’s going insane.

Kamukura stays deep asleep the entire time, hole red and loose and slick with semen oozing out of it with every thrust, face still slack and half-buried in the pillow. Naegi can’t string together a thought by the end, skin raw and electric, body coated in sweat and face slick with drool and tears.

It’s a relief when he finally passes out, cock jerking weakly as he orgasms inside of him again, nothing left inside of him to give. He slumps forwards and the world goes blissfully dark.

* * *

The sleeping drug makes awakening a blurry, fuzzy journey. Kamukura first becomes aware of a person lying on top of him, an aching pain spreading out from where their bodies are connected. His thoughts take longer than normal to string together into something coherent, drifting about lazily as he slowly remembers his concocted plan.

He blinks a few times to clear his eyes, face pressed into the pillow. He turns his head and looks over his shoulder, looking at the messy head of brown hair nestled against his back between his shoulder blades. When he tenses his hips, a spike of pain jolts up his spine and he realizes that Naegi is still inside of him. Soft, of course, but still nestled there, using him as a cockwarmer, and Kamukura’s breath shudders in his lungs, a flush crawling up his neck.

Something deep inside of him feels satisfied, an itch he hadn’t quite realized was there had been scratched. What utter catharsis. He takes a moment to revel in the bliss.

He can feel the sticky, dried mess of semen coating his inner thighs and smiles faintly into the pillow. Naegi had used him wonderfully, over and over, until he’d passed out from how much he’d enjoyed Kamukura’s body. Everything had gone as perfectly as Kamukura could have designed.

He carefully tightens himself again, a pleasured hiss escaping him at the tender ache, wondering if he could somehow manage to coax Naegi into hardness again while inside of him despite the aphrodisiac having lost its efficiency. That would perhaps be the perfect final touch to this fantasy of his, enjoying Naegi’s body again with their roles reversed, bringing him to completion while he sleeps with his cock inside of him.

It’s delightfully painful, but his wish does not come true. Naegi makes a soft, sleepy sound and nuzzles against his back before coming fully into awareness. Then he rolls off, face horrified as he scrambles away to the far side of the bed, eyes wide and growing wet. “No - No way. I-I… I really…? I thought - m-maybe it was just a messed up dream, but…”

Kamukura tilts his head curiously and eases himself up onto his forearms. ‘Messed up’, was it? “Did you prefer me awake or asleep?” he asks curiously.

The look of horror he receives makes him even more curious. “W… _What_?”

“You had sex with my unconscious body.” Naegi flinches hard at that, hands covering his face with an expression of shame. “Did you prefer it to me being awake? Without worrying about my needs or wants, taking whatever you like. Or does it feel better if I’m tight, moving back against you?”

“Stop,” Naegi grimaces, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. “Just - get mad at me already, please. I can’t -”

As he’d predicted - absolutely no distrust or suspicion regarding his strangely deep sleep coinciding with Naegi’s unrepentant arousal. It is that blind belief and hope that had led him to completing the first killing game, and pushed him to the great heights of becoming the world’s Hope, and yet it is also his greatest blindspot. Kamukura gauges his possible reactions.

He supposes it is not beyond reason that, although this was emotionally satisfying for himself, it would not be for Naegi. “Were you displeased at not seeing me respond to you? Do you prefer me being awake to play with?”

Naegi’s hands fly from his face, expression even more shocked. “Kamukura,” he says in strained disbelief, “I _raped_ you. Do you understand that?”

He digests that. According to the true facts of the matter, it may be accurate to say they had raped each other - Kamukura drugging him with this intent against his will and Naegi taking him without consent. He is not very bothered by that classification.

Naegi sees the lack of reaction in his face and reels back. “Kamukura, what I did was _wrong._ Really wrong! I still don’t even know why I - b-but there’s no excuse.”

“I understand.” Naegi looks torn between relief and crushed grief before he continues, “You did not enjoy having sex with me while I was asleep.” That is a disappointment, but perhaps something to overcome in the future with enough preparation and application of a different mix of drugs. He has nothing but talent at his disposal - creating a new scenario for both of them to enjoy should be simple.

“N-No, that’s not the point -”

Kamukura leans in and kisses him chastely before climbing off of the bed and kicking his pants off. “I am going to clean myself. Please feel free to join me.”

Naegi stays seated quietly on the bed, naked and stunned, until Kamukura comes back and urges him into the shower. He stares at him like a frightened animal would, waiting to be struck or yelled at. Kamukura patiently washes him and recalculates the scenario in his mind, pleasantly satisfied with the outcome despite Naegi’s resistance, and very eager to repeat it again and again until it is perfected.

He is sure, with time, Naegi will learn to appreciate it too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write more and then realized I should split the chapters. enjoy!

It happened again.

He claws his hands through his hair, pulling until it hurts.

It happened _again._

He sits on the bed in the morning, body trembling slightly and coated in the uncomfortable feeling of dried sweat. What is happening to him? And why won’t it just _stop?_ It’s only gotten worse - the fever, the heat, the need - and the absolute most unbearable thing about it all is how forgiving Kamukura is. Once again, he’d only asked if he’d _enjoyed_ himself, like that matters at all!

The water switches on in the bathroom. Just like the first time, he knows Kamukura’s going to come back out and get him soon and force him into the shower with him, acting as though nothing had happened.

His stomach rolls thinking about what he’d done. He’d actually gone for it this time, fucking Kamukura’s unconscious mouth until he came, watching afterwards as his semen languidly dripped out of his lax mouth. It had felt so warm, so good, he hadn’t even thought twice about it. He’d even considered pushing him onto his back so he could mount his face properly and fuck his throat.

He shivers a little harder and grinds the heels of his palms into his eyes until stars burst, trying to scrub the image from his mind.

Maybe _that’s_ the worst part about it - the fact that the strange fever he’s felt twice now had gotten so strong, so mind-numbing, that he hadn’t even stopped to think about what he was doing. The fact that he was raping his partner hadn’t even crossed his mind, swallowed down whole by the dizzying swirl of animalistic arousal. It had been disturbingly easy, waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and rolling over to fuck Kamukura without even trying to take care of it himself.

Kamukura’s body had even reacted subconsciously to it too. He pulls his hands away from his face to peek in disbelief at the wet spot on the bed from where Kamukura’s sleeping body had orgasmed from being fucked raw for hours.

There’s something happening to them and he’s _scared._ He’d felt too sick to his stomach to be able to even think about touching Kamukura, sexually or not, only agreeing to share the bed with him again after Kamukura had talked him into it. He’d been fine for almost a week! And then - again - last night…

He swallows down a rush of saliva and forces himself not to vomit.

As if on cue, Kamukura exits the bathroom, clothing discarded and body naked, calmly headed towards him. “The water will be sufficiently heated soon.” He doesn’t wait for Naegi to resist, simply grabbing him and pulling him up off the bed, leading him with a firm hand. It’s almost too much. Just - too much.

“Kamukura.” He tugs futilely at his hand in Kamukura’s grip. “I’ll shower after you.”

“This is more efficient.”

He’s dragged into the bathroom and the door is quickly shut behind him, as though he were a disobedient pet. “I don’t - think this is a good idea right now. After - you know. W-What I did.”

Kamukura regards him silently as the shower patters in the background, the air slowly growing warmer in the small room. He steps forward into his space, crowding him back until he hits the wall, trying not to feel sick at having Kamukura’s naked body so close to him - the body he’d violated all night - especially when his eyes flicker down and see the thin rivulets of his come leaking down Kamukura’s legs.

“You say that with such disgust. This is proof of your enjoyment, is it not?” Kamukura asks, curling a hand around his soft dick, inspecting it with an air of curiosity. “I enjoy the idea, personally. I believe you must as well.”

Naegi nudges his hand away and swallows uncomfortably. “How am I supposed to enjoy that?”

Kamukura’s lips twitch downwards, impassively staring down at him. “After repeated bodily satisfaction with no negative repercussions - or even with... mild encouragement - I do not understand why you do not admit your enjoyment. You feel good. I enjoy it. I experienced an orgasm in my sleep. There was mutual satisfaction. Was that not the problem?”

“The problem isn’t if your body reacted to it!” Naegi rubs harshly at his face to fight back the mounting headache pounding at his skull and wondering yet again what exactly Hope’s Peak had done to Kamukura to make him so… _lax_ about things that any normal person would be horrified by.

There is a pause. Kamukura’s brow actually pulls together as though he’s confused by something. Then his face clears. “I see. I must reward you physically after the fact to prevent you from experiencing guilt. That was my previous mistake.”

“Reward me -?”

He’s down on his knees before Naegi can stop him, wet tongue laving over his still oversensitive dick.

“Kamukura, that’s - stop that! That’s disgusting, it’s all dirty and - and -” he struggles to maintain his composure, pushing at his face.

Everything about this is wrong. It’s too much. His brain feels hot and his eyes feel tender, ready for the emotional explosion building behind them to detonate and rip him to shreds.

But Kamukura doesn’t budge, easily wrapping him in his mouth and suckling as the sticky remnants of his own rape, hands firmly holding him in place with his back pressed against the bathroom wall, and refusing to let him back away. He feels nauseous, grateful to the exhaustion still lingering in his body that stops him from reacting to the wet heat coaxing him.

It takes a few minutes for Kamukura to admit defeat and pull away from him with a slick sound, gazing at his soft dick and then up at him with a neutral expression.

“Is this not what you want either?” His voice is steady and bland, but Naegi can’t help but imagine there’s disappointment colouring his tone. Disappointment for _what,_ or _why,_ he doesn’t understand. Kamukura’s so intelligent, so clever, and yet he can’t seem to grasp the situation, and the longer he’s on his knees trying to get him hard the worse it is.

He shakes his head, and slumps in relief when Kamukura hums thoughtfully and stands.

“I will endeavour to do better,” Kamukura says, and gives him a closed mouth kiss, like he’d done something _wrong,_ like Naegi had been let down - 

The spark in those words lights the fuse in his skull.

It’s just _too much --_

And Naegi starts crying.

* * *

The shower seems to have been successful in calming Naegi down.

Kamukura keeps a careful eye on him as they dress in their bedroom, unsure of what had prompted the sobbing fit earlier. It is not a sensation he is used to, and while it excites him, it unnerves him equally. The aphrodisiac should not have included an emotionally altering side-effect, and if it _does,_ then he has made a mistake and that is simply impossible.

He will need closer observation in order to ascertain the issue.

He idly looks over the room as he buttons up his shirt, satisfied for now that Naegi is stable. The bed sheets will need to be changed later. Their semen is always troublesome to clean, but he cannot complain when he’s the one orchestrating the reason their sheets are stained.

In his opinion, the second attempt at creating his fantasy had been very successful. So much so, it astounds him Naegi is still not satisfied with it, and he can’t puzzle out what’s missing. He’d come to the conclusion that Naegi wanted them to have mutual enjoyment, as is his nature, but even ingesting a small amount of aphrodisiac with his sleeping drug and thus achieving orgasm in his sleep had done nothing to assuage him.

It had been new waking up to the taste of semen in his mouth. He has naturally tasted Naegi many times, being somewhat partial to letting him fuck his mouth and enjoying the tiny pinpricks of pain in his scalp when Naegi accidentally loses control and pulls on his hair. It’s rare, enough so that it manages to excite him slightly when it happens. But to know that Naegi had taken his mouth despite his being asleep…

Adding that to the scratches on his thighs where Naegi had grabbed him so tightly in his need to fuck him, and the divots of bite marks on his neck - in his mind, it is all simply further proof that Naegi secretly, subconsciously, enjoys everything Kamukura has been attempting to achieve: Kamukura’s utter submission, being able to disregard everything but his own needs, and break the norms he’s been unknowingly forcing himself to follow.

Perhaps it has been remiss of him to focus simply on their lives in private. Naegi is still resistant, and he will only become harder to convince to share a bed with him the more times this experiment is repeated. Drug induced arousal weakening Naegi’s self-control until he finally allows himself to take whatever he likes does not need to be confined simply to his own selfish fantasy.

He opens his side table drawer, pulling out the Future Foundation pin he’d been required to wear and looking at the small vials of drugs he’d prepared. His hand hovers over one, before he decides to close the drawer back up.

Not today, he thinks. He’ll allow some days of recovery before pushing further.

In the end, he manages to wait three days.

* * *

Naegi sits in his office at the Foundation and sips slowly at the coffee Kamukura had made for him.

Things are… okay. They’ve calmed down again - or at least they haven’t gotten worse. He hasn’t woken up during the night with that fever for a few days, and Kamukura’s been giving him space ever since the failed blowjob in their bathroom. It’s still too overwhelming thinking about touching him, about _any_ of that.

He looks over at the other man, settled in a comfortable nook and flipping through some files and books. Kamukura spends most of his time researching although it must be incredibly boring for him, coming up with various ways of combating despair for the Foundation to use. It hadn’t been easy, fitting him into an organization that hated him, but Naegi’s influence had been just enough to keep them from executing them on the spot.

Maybe, once he’s sure that he’s not going to lose control like that again, he can do something for Kamukura to thank him for his hard work. It’s been too long now since they’ve just been able to have _normal_ sex - and it’s his fault.

With that sobering thought, he turns back to his papers and takes another sip of coffee.

He’ll make things right again somehow. Both in the world, and between the two of them.

About an hour later, the paperwork blurs slightly before his eyes as they unfocus, and he hooks a finger under his collar to tug at it. It’s hot… He looks over at Kamukura who ignores him, flipping through some manila folders Togami had dropped off, but he looks completely unbothered.

Something anxious swirls in his stomach.

He breathes in deeply to settle his nerves and undoes the top button on his shirt to get more air. It hasn’t happened while he’s awake before, and he’s still so far from being ready to become intimate again that in itself should prevent him from… _feeling_ that strange fever. It hasn’t happened before, he reminds himself shakily.

It _won’t happen._

He blinks hard and refocuses on the papers in front of him.

He lasts nearly a full half hour before he’s forced to accept the sweat building along his back, the twisting, writhing heat in his body sinking lower and lower and slowly filling his cock out. No amount of self-loathing or focusing on the dry, mind-numbing tasks at his desk stop the surge of arousal prickling over him, digging into his skin.

It’s _hot._ His throat clicks when he swallows, and he presses his thighs together, almost moans aloud when his erection throbs in need. He can feel his self-control slipping just as it did when - when he -

He shudders and his stomach turns over but his cock only drools at the idea of fucking Kamukura, asleep or not. Without thinking, he drops a hand down and presses on it with the same impulse one might press on a bruise to see if it _actually_ hurts. He whines without meaning to when it feels unbearably good touching himself, and flushes with shame when he sees in his peripheral Kamukura’s head lifting from his book.

Kamukura asks him something he can’t quite hear over the rushing of blood in his ears, adrenaline and panic and arousal swirling violently inside of him.

“I - I need to go,” he hurriedly excuses, awkwardly standing and trying to hide the front of his pants. He has to get out of there before he does something terrible again. He can’t let himself even _look_ at Kamukura or - he’s not sure what will happen.

There are a few members of the Foundation in the hallway, wandering about, talking, doing their work. He tries to keep his head down, but he can feel their eyes on his neck as he nearly runs past them towards the bathroom. It’s humiliating. It’s shameful. It feels like they can see into his mind and read about the shameful things he’d done.

He shivers and shoves his way into the bathroom, locking himself into a stall without looking at the few other men using the urinals.

His dick throbs when he pulls it out, precome already beginning to drip. He bites into the palm of his hand to stop from moaning when he starts masturbating, the knowledge of his co-workers - his _friends_ \- standing just outside of his stall and listening to him only barely overcoming the _need_ to come bleeding into his thoughts.

Something about the situation makes a mixture of shame and desire pool in his gut. For a wild moment he wonders if he opened the stall and asked one of them to suck him off, if they would. He’s _the Ultimate Hope,_ after all. Maybe they would. Maybe he could fuck one of them and -

He bites his hand harder, trying to wipe the fantasy from his mind’s eye, guilt souring in his stomach.

Kamukura may irrationally not hate him for what he’d done before, but surely he would draw the line at Naegi taking some nameless Foundation worker in the bathroom. He might even walk in, worried about the partner he’d forgiven for assaulting him, only to see him fucking another man raw, lost in pleasure like a mindless animal.

What would his face look like? Would his expression change at all from the impassive, cool mask he wears? He can’t even imagine him looking heartbroken or angry - maybe he’d just watch, stand there and see his lover taking all of his desires and frustrations out on someone else because he feels too anxious to touch _him._

Would he… _like_ it?

He pictures Kamukura with that slight flush he gets when they have sex, standing there and touching himself as Naegi uses another man to get off. Red eyes dark and staring at him, watching him like he always does, calm and composed as always.

Part of him wants to break that composure into tiny little pieces, strip back Kamukura’s perfection until he’s raw and human like the rest of them, crying and moaning and begging -

He bites into the meat of his palm until he tastes iron, a surge of white blinding him as he comes to the image of Kamukura begging to be ruined. His come spatters messily across the toilet seat, but he doesn’t have the sense of mind to care. He’s still dizzy with need and he keeps stroking himself, distantly wondering if the slick sound is as obvious to the other men in the room as it is to him.

Does it matter? He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to block out the visuals he’d been building, trying to focus on nothing but the reality of the hell he’s trapped in. If he can’t get control of himself, then there’s no telling what he might end up doing.

But he can’t _stop_ thinking about how badly he wants to touch someone, _anyone,_ he just needs something more, something -

Arms loop around his waist from behind, startling him. He turns his face into a silky curtain of hair and feels himself both relax and become infinitely more stressed.

“K-Kamukura,” he pants, looking back around at the now open stall door and trying to see into the rest of the bathroom. Half of him, the part that had been dreaming about fucking one of them, almost _wants_ them to still be there and see him look this depraved. The other half might break down then and there even though he knows it wouldn’t be enough to stop himself.

Kamukura hushes him, nuzzling the side of his face. “I locked the door in. No one will disturb us.”

“N-No, no, no, no…” He tries to push Kamukura’s arms away from him, well aware that he’s still caught up in the fever, and just _knowing_ that he’ll break his self-made promise to not take advantage of Kamukura again.

But Kamukura doesn’t budge. He holds Naegi firmly against his chest, brushing kisses against his cheek. “It’s alright,” he says, low and comforting. “I’ll take care of you.”

Against his weak protests, Kamukura wraps a firm hand around his cock and slowly jerks him off. It feels good, so good having someone else touch him. Kamukura treats it like he does most things, as a science, touching him in the perfect way - digging his thumb into his slit and tightening his grip on the way up, killing his arguments before he can vocalize them.

It feels filthy, standing in a bathroom stall at his _workplace_ with the man he’d assaulted jerking him off into a toilet he’s already made a mess of.

 _Disgusting…_ He’s disgusting.

But no amount of bile simmering in his stomach or self-disgust stops him from rolling his hips into Kamukura’s tight grip that adjusts to his movements, steadily dragging him deeper and deeper into bliss until he’s orgasming again.

When he manages to catch his breath and focus his eyes again, he realizes his knees have given out and the only thing keeping him standing is Kamukura’s hug.

“Stop,” he says, trying to sound stern and failing when Kamukura loosely tugs at him. “Just - you don’t have to, I can take care of it.”

“Do you want to fuck me?”

He shivers and feels his dick throb at the idea of being inside of him. Still, he shakes his head.

“It feels like you do. It’s alright,” Kamukura says again, pulling his hands away slowly to ensure Naegi doesn’t collapse right there, and undoes his belt. “I want to.”

Kamukura eases himself in front of him, bending over the toilet in the stall and pulling his hair to the side, looking over his shoulder at him expectantly. Naegi should walk away. He steps a little closer, and Kamukura reaches back to spread himself open. His throat feels dry. He steps closer again, knees still a little weak, and he rubs up against Kamukura’s ass.

“You’re - not prepared - I can’t,” he excuses, hoping desperately Kamukura will change his mind and stop him.

“It will hurt both of us, but only for a short while.”

He says it in a certain way, as though Naegi should _know_ that, and he wonders if it’s because of - because of what he’d done - a chill races down his spine at being reminded of that awful, awful thing, but it doesn’t stop him from lining himself up and pressing against Kamukura’s hole. It’s tight, and it almost burns as he forces himself in, trying to go slow but giving up halfway through and thrusting sharply until he bottoms out.

Kamukura makes a soft sighing sound and pushes back against him. That’s all his strung out mind needs in approval.

He grabs Kamukura’s hips and rocks into him, leaning over his back and nuzzling against the suit jacket riding up. He wishes they were naked, together in bed maybe, instead of in a bathroom stall, but he can’t stop now that he’s started. He might just combust if he does.

Kamukura moves back against him, making more small sounds and after a few moments touching himself as Naegi fucks him.

Part of him wonders if he should tell Kamukura about his fantasy earlier, if he should confess the brief infidelity he’d been considering, and realizing if he’d gone through with it Kamukura _would_ have seen him when he came to check on him. It’s almost too much to consider being reality, so he bites his tongue and focuses on making this as good for the both of them as he can.

“Does it… feel okay?” he asks between his pants for breath, sweating more with the suffocating suit still on him, cloth sticking to his skin. The air feels damp and thick and his head swims with the effort of breathing.

Kamukura hums. “It does. So, enjoy yourself. You deserve to feel good.”

“O-Okay.”

“I’m glad you’re taking what you need,” Kamukura says softly over the sound of their hips meeting and him stroking himself. “I’m happy.”

He doesn’t sound any different than usual, just as calm and unreadable, but… Naegi feels content. Something about the way he’s talking makes him want to believe him. He feels his shoulders relax and the heat doesn’t feel quite as strangling.

“Do you feel good?”

“Y… Yes.”

Kamukura hums again and arches his back slightly so he slides just a bit deeper. It’s intoxicating, being with him again like this. Everything feels magnified and blurred at the same time, the pleasure so powerful to the point where it almost hurts, but the world is soft around the edges and all he can focus on is the two of them.

Time blurs again, as it does every time he falls under the fever’s influence. He stops thinking. Kamukura’s voice is soothing and hypnotic, and he listens to it without hearing a word as he fucks him until the world dims around him.

He comes to lying on the couch in his office, feeling exhausted but relieved. He feels his clothing a little stiff from the dried sweat, and sits up wearily.

“How do you feel?” Kamukura asks, voice steady and calm.

Naegi turns his head and looks at him seated as his desk, a pile of paperwork - _his_ paperwork - completed and off to the side. “... Okay.”

Kamukura stares at him, weighing his answer. He’s not exactly sure how he feels, not now that he knows the fever can strike him during the day too, but… Having consensual sex with Kamukura for the first time in over a week had been refreshing. It was under bizarre circumstances, and it scared him still, but… It had been good.

So he’s okay.

Kamukura nods and turns back to the desk. “In approximately 17 minutes I will be complete and we can return home. Drink some water.”

He can’t help but crack a smile and obediently gets up to fetch himself water.

Maybe this is a sign things _are_ going to get better.

* * *

Naegi rests his face in his hands, leg bouncing nervously, stomach turning and twisting as he sits at his desk and waits for the fever. It doesn’t happen every day, and it doesn’t hit him as strong each time, but _it’s coming._ Sooner or later, eventually, it’s coming.

He feels like he’s actually losing his mind.

There’s something _wrong_ with him but when he’d visited the physician at the Foundation under Kamukura’s watchful eyes, they hadn’t found anything wrong with him besides some light sleep deprivation. But he _knows_ something’s wrong. It has to be. There’s only so many times he can excuse himself from paperwork or a meeting to go and fuck Kamukura in a locked bathroom or in his office before he has to accept that there’s something actually wrong with him.

But… Kamukura doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong either. He’d simply shrugged and suggested they indulge when the urge came up, and not worry too much about it - admittedly in a more complex way that made _sense_ when he said it, but to the same effect.

Once he’d reluctantly accepted letting it go and hoping it went away on its own though, Kamukura had taken that concept and run with it.

He twitches a bit when Kamukura shifts and the hot warmth around his soft cock moves.

He’s still not sure how Kamukura had talked him into it, but… there he is. Under the desk. Head neatly leaned against his thigh and his pants undone just enough for Kamukura to suck his dick into his mouth as he kneels on the ground. Supposedly it was to help get him off as quickly as possible if he started getting erect. Naegi rubs his forehead. It made sense at the time, but he’d also agreed when he was thighfucking Kamukura because he’d been too impatient to wait for him to pull his pants down.

God. There’s something wrong with him.

Kamukura suckles on him a little and he realizes with a start that he’s getting hard. He doesn’t feel the stifling heat - _yet._ It should feel normal, or as normal as it can be, but he can’t feel relaxed knowing that just this once might be _normal_ but the next time… Hell, maybe even in a few minutes it could all change. Kamukura languidly moves his head, the wet warmth coaxing him on.

He reaches down to thread his fingers through Kamukura’s hair when the door to his office opens and he rips his hand back, face going red as he stares wide-eyed at Kirigiri. She stops and looks at him.

“... Are you alright?” she asks, looking around the room. Her eyes trace his office before flickering to his desk and back to him. “Ah.”

“U-Uh, I, uh.”

“I’m going to walk to your desk and put these files down. Then I’m going to leave and you’re going to lock your office. Understand?”

Kamukura licks hard at the underside of his cock and he bites his cheek so hard he’s surprised it didn’t bleed, knee jerking up and smacking the underside of the desk. He decides not to trust his voice and nods instead. She sighs and does as she said, quickly walking over and dropping the papers into a small pile on his desk before stopping and picking up his empty coffee cup.

“I suppose I’ll take this for you,” she sighs, tucking some hair behind her ear. “You remember the next part? Lock the door.”

He nods again, face so warm he swears he’s about to ignite and Kamukura _won’t stop sucking._

She walks away with a shake of her head, and shuts the door sharply behind her. Naegi pushes Kamukura away from him who gives him an unreadable look from the darkness under the desk.

“Just - Just a minute.”

He stands and sways a little on his feet as the world feels unsteady. Ah… Shit. He quickly goes over and locks the door before he can lose his common sense. He can _feel it._ The fever. Maybe he really does have good luck after all. If Kirigiri came in while he was under that influence, he’s not sure it would have gone quite as smoothly.

When he turns around, he sees Kamukura already moving things aside on the desk and unbuckling his belt.

“Aha… You could tell, huh?” he asks embarrassedly, scratching his cheek.

Kamukura gives him another unreadable look.

He smiles weakly and lets Kamukura slide his jacket off, easily opening his mouth for a kiss when he leans in. Sooner or later, it has to stop. He can handle this, as long as Kamukura’s there to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay reckless sex! If you enjoyed pls lemme know!
> 
> The stuff I really wanted to get to and where stuff really starts heading off rails is in the next chapter so I'll get that out soon :3c


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the stuff I really wanted to write last time but took too long setting up!

Kamukura hears the change in Naegi’s breathing pattern before he notices the way he’s rubbing his thighs together, valiantly trying to complete his work before he inevitably breaks and asks Kamukura to get on his knees for him. He supposes that he could preemptively get under the desk and suck him off. It’s pleasing, staying down there and being used as a cockwarmer. But he has another idea he’d rather try more.

It’s been nearly a week on their schedule, it’s time to push further.

He puts down the book he’d been idly skimming, all of the information neatly catalogued away, and moves to Naegi’s side. Naegi looks up at him with blown pupils, flushed cheeks, and red, wet, bitten lips. Kamukura spins his chair to face him and roughly kisses him, licking into his mouth and tasting the drugged coffee he’d given him.

For all the intelligence Naegi possesses and yet seemingly refuses to apply to his daily life, Kamukura honestly wonders if he’s _chosen_ not to notice the clear link between Kamukura and these phases.

As Naegi kisses back, tongue hot and eager, Kamukura pets over his chest, curls his hands around his pecs and thumbs over his nipples. The massage draws out sweet mewls and whimpers that he swallows down easily, pushing Naegi further and further into his haze of arousal. Kamukura wants him to melt, to become pliable and open and soft.

Then he wants him to break.

Kamukura pulls away, admiring Naegi’s flushed face and the way he digs his blunt nails into Kamukura’s back to try and bring him closer.

“What were you thinking about to become like this?” he murmurs, dragging his own nails across Naegi’s thin chest.

“Kamukura,” Naegi pants, tilting his chin up and trying to kiss him again, nearly writhing with need. “Please, please, please -”

He smooths his hand over Naegi’s stomach, feeling the heated skin through his dress shirt, the minute trembling. In response, lithe hips undulate up, trying to encourage him to touch his restrained erection. When he leans in to press a wet kiss to the soft skin behind Naegi’s ear, the thin patience lining the smaller man’s body snaps, and his hand is forcibly grabbed and moved down to his crotch.

Kamukura feels his mouth twitch upwards. He sighs against the wet mark he’d left, sends shivers down Naegi’s spine as he twitches and moans at Kamukura’s palm cradling him. Then he asks, “Were you thinking about how you fucked me when I was sleeping?”

Naegi stills. Kamukura rubs his erection enticingly and kisses at his neck, waiting patiently for his response.

“... What?”

He nips a little sharply at the smooth neck under his mouth, a small red spot blooming there, before repeating his question, slowly, purposefully. “Were you thinking about the nights where you mounted me and fucked me in my sleep?”

Naegi pushes himself back in his seat as though trying to escape him, eyes wide and scared, the flush and sweat building on his face as the drug seeps in deeper. Kamukura leans in further, almost climbing into the chair with him, hair curtaining around them, cutting Naegi off from the world with his body. “No, I - I wasn’t!”

He’s telling the truth. The shard of disappointment he feels is easy to bury. Kamukura presses their foreheads together and locks their gazes. “That’s a lie.”

Naegi shakes his head violently. “It’s not, I promise! I wouldn’t -”

“Do you think about it often? Would you like to do it again? I’d allow you to.”

“Stop,” Naegi chokes out.

“Fucking me in my sleep was arousing for you,” Kamukura needles, massaging the bulge in his pants, keeping his palm there even when Naegi weakly tries to push him away. It’s impressive how well he’s enduring the aphrodisiac’s effects. Perhaps he needs to begin administering stronger doses. “Admit that to me.”

“N-No,” Naegi whines, bucking his hips.

Kamukura grinds the heel of his palm hard against him, satisfied when Naegi’s eyes flutter and he moans needily. A little more pushing. They’re _so close._ “You’re erect thinking about it. You enjoy thinking about it. You liked fucking my mouth with me being unable to do anything about it. It felt good. If you admit that you liked _raping_ me, then I might reward you.”

Naegi’s eyes shine wetly when he focuses back onto Kamukura. Kamukura schools his expression to stop from frowning. Perhaps it was too soon to use that term, despite Naegi bandying it around without any real accuracy - 

“I _can’t._ ”

His thoughts stop in place. _I can’t say that_ is not the same thing as _I didn’t enjoy it._

“You can,” Kamukura says much more softly, pulling up his acting talents and colouring his tone with something pleading that Naegi is weak to. “You can admit it to me.”

“Ahh, I - I -” Naegi’s body begins stiffening, and he pulls his hand away before he can orgasm. Kamukura catches his hands and presses them back, stopping Naegi from bringing himself to completion. He sobs and gazes up at him blearily, thighs rubbing together, the outline of his cock twitching in his pants. “Please, I need more, just a little, _please._ ”

“If you tell the truth, I’ll let you fuck me however you want, as many times as you want,” Kamukura promises, eager himself to get bent over the desk again, but _needing_ this more.

He’s been fucked day in and day out in whatever position Naegi desires, until Naegi’s drug-induced stamina nearly outweighed his own natural abilities to keep up, but with this? With this admission, with their true feelings finally accepted between them, it would be special. Unique. More so than their first time together.

Naegi sniffles, tears building, bottom lip clamped between his teeth so tightly Kamukura wonders if the skin will split.

He changes tact when Naegi simply shakes his head and refuses to answer. “You must be in pain. I know how much you _need_ me when you become like this. I’ve taken care of you every time, haven’t I?” When he hesitantly nods, Kamukura continues, “Then, is it so wrong to let me take care of you even when I’m unaware of it? _I_ enjoy it. I _want_ to take care of you. You can admit to enjoying it too. It’s alright.”

Naegi’s eyes unfocus slightly, before he blinks rapidly and comes back to himself. His mind is weakening the longer this goes. Soon, Kamukura may be unable to get any response out of him at all.

He slides off the chair and downwards onto his knees, keeping Naegi’s hands tight in his grasp, dipping his head down towards Naegi’s crotch. He stays just far enough away that even when he moans and arches his hips upwards he can’t quite reach him, and opens his mouth. Naegi watches, entranced as Kamukura lets saliva drool out of his mouth and drip slowly onto his pants, darkening the cloth over top of his cock.

“Ah… Ahh… K-Kamu… kura…”

“Yes?”

Naegi twists in Kamukura’s hold, hands trying to find a way out, and the arousal in his eyes all too clear. “I need you… I need you, now, please, _please._ ”

“You know what you need to say. Tell me the truth.” He puts a mask of pleading sincerity on. “Don’t I deserve that?”

A tear finally breaks Naegi’s waterline, streaks down his cheek. “I… I-it... f-felt good.”

A deep sense of relief and satisfaction washes over him, swirls around inside of him and fills in the cracks and crevices he’d felt etching themselves into him every time Naegi denied the pleasure Kamukura had given him. As promised, he lets go of Naegi’s hands that immediately twine through his hair and shove his face down.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Naegi half-sobs as he dry humps Kamukura’s face, too far gone to wait to undo his pants. Kamukura obediently stays kneeling, replaying those faltering words and relishing in them.

It doesn’t take long for Naegi to stiffen and hold Kamukura tightly against him as he orgasms. He can smell it, pressed this close - the thick semen spilling into his boxers, staining the cloth. When he’s finished, Naegi limply sits back, cock still hard and eyes still hazy.

“I’m glad you told me the truth,” Kamukura says as he quickly undoes Naegi’s belt, opening his pants and tugging his boxers down enough to lap up his come off the fabric. “I’m glad you could finally tell me how good it felt to rape me.”

Naegi’s thighs twitch and he curls inwards slightly, eyes flicking away from him. He’s trying to run away. He won’t let that happen.

Kamukura licks up the underside of Naegi’s dick and draws his eyes back to him. “Say it again.”

“I…” Naegi shudders and covers his face. “It felt good.”

“Say that it felt good to rape me.”

He whines, a fresh tear dripping down his cheek. “Kamukura, please…”

"Be good for me and say it."

He idly strokes Naegi as he waits, lightly toying with him, unsatisfying and loose. Every twitch and whimper feels like a step in the right direction. With this, with one further acknowledgement, he’ll have finally crushed that resistance inside of him. He can feel it. Naegi’s unnecessary abidance of social rules is hanging by a thread, and together they’ll sever it.

Naegi shakes his head even as he tries fucking up into Kamukura’s loose grip.

“Don’t be afraid,” Kamukura coos softly, “I won’t reject you for being honest with me. I love every inch of you. _Trust me_.”

“I - I already said what you _wanted,_ so - so please,” Naegi chokes out.

“Just do one more thing for me. You can do it.”

He sucks on the tip of him, lapping up precome as it oozes out, as Naegi seems torn between begging for more and begging him to let go, his face all wet with tears. Kamukura licks his lips as he looks up at him, something hot twisting in his stomach, and leans up. Naegi whimpers as he licks at the salty tears on his cheeks, dragging his tongue across them and soaking up the fresh, hot tracks as they drip down.

“Say it, please,” Kamukura asks again, nearly not having to fake the pleading tone in his voice as he kisses at Naegi’s wet lashes.

Another surge of tears that he drinks down and then in a pathetic, small voice, “I l-liked -- I liked raping you.”

Kamukura kisses him, slotting their mouths together and licking inside to let him taste the salty, bitter mixture of come and tears, undoing his own pants with urgency - ah, he’s hard. When did that happen? It doesn’t matter. He _needs._

“Again, say it again,” he says as he pulls Naegi up and out of his chair, laying back on the desk without caring what papers he displaces or what he happens to knock off. He holds his legs up against his chest and feels his mouth twitch upwards when Naegi hastily presses his cock against him despite his red, hurt expression. “Say it.”

Naegi shudders, crying more as the head of his dick slips inside of Kamukura, hands joining Kamukura’s at his knees and pushing his legs further back. There’s nowhere left to run - he’s chosen to finally tell the truth, accepted it, and now they’re consummating their new relationship.

“I liked ra… raping you,” Naegi says wetly as he bottoms out, eyes rolling back in relief. “I liked it…”

Kamukura feels - he _feels._ His own cock is hard and needy against his stomach, throbbing with the repeated admission. It’s better than he’d imagined. He stares unblinkingly as Naegi starts fucking him, falteringly saying over and over that _he liked it._ Every inch of it, lovingly carved into his memory.

Naegi leans down as he fucks him desperately, face angled up to kiss him, but Kamukura refuses to meet him, passively watching his face up close as he cries. Why would he waste time kissing him when Naegi is still telling him how much he liked taking him by force? The intense fire burning inside of him stokes up higher and higher with every weak, half-aware repetition of it, and he craves more.

“I li - I liked it, I liked it, I liked it, Kamukura… _Ahh,_ ah, ah, _Kamukura_ -”

His body warms all over as Naegi thrusts hard inside of him and comes, face twisted up with pained, teary-eyed pleasure.

“Good, you did so well,” he says approvingly, tightening around his cock as he begins thrusting again. He’ll be chasing his high for the next few hours, until he’s exhausted himself. Kamukura gently rests his heels on Naegi’s back as his hips rock into him, prepared to force him to stay inside if he decides to try to back away.

Naegi seems to come back to himself slightly, eyes clearing. “Kamukura, I’m so sorry -”

“Shh,” Kamukura interrupts, clamping down tightly around him to disturb the clarity in his thoughts. He unhooks a hand from one of his knees and pets his hair, encouraging him to nuzzle against his chest. “It’s alright. I want to hear about how good you felt - tell me again.”

And he does, with wet eyes and a choked voice, as he fucks him on his desk and fills him again and again, until he’s trembling and on the verge of blacking out from exhaustion. Kamukura gently pets him as he mumbles half-coherent words about how good he’d felt, face pressed against his chest and smearing drool and sweat and tears.

Kamukura has never loved him more.

* * *

They’re into the second week of his dosing, and Kamukura is extremely pleased with the results, he must admit.

Naturally, he’d had to strengthen the dosages he’d been supplying when Naegi proved to be so mentally resistant, and perhaps the mental toll has resulted in Naegi’s work being ignored in favour of fucking him, but it isn’t of any real concern. Kamukura can easily complete his tasks and mimic his writing style to prevent any undue suspicions.

Or rather, undue interruptions, he should say. Naturally, he knows Kirigiri and a handful of others have realized that their office has become a place of dirty trysts rather than one of business. As long as everything is completed on time, however, they seem rather content to leave them be.

He’d gone ahead and locked the door this time, to prevent any unwanted visitors. Perhaps the point initially had been to induce sex in irregular places and weaken Naegi’s resolve further, but he’d doubled the dose today to see what would happen, and he needs to take special care to observe. Any disruptions would simply be a distraction from the important task at hand.

The activation period had minimized to a measly fifteen minutes. Naegi had barely had enough time to drink half the cup before he’d been pulling his clothing off, sweaty and flushed and eager to have Kamukura suck him off.

He’d rather enjoyed the eager way he’d fucked his mouth, trying to drive himself as deep as he could, pressing Kamukura’s face against his stomach and digging his hands into his hair and _pulling._ It had edged just on this side of painful, highlighting just how free and willing Naegi had become with the influence of the higher dose.

It’s simply for experimentation sake, but Kamukura finds himself enjoying himself deeply with the double dosage. Perhaps it would be something to experiment further with. Push and push and push until there’s nowhere left for Naegi to hide.

He stands, swallowing the load of come in his mouth as Naegi pants and tries kissing him, grinding against his thigh.

“Kamukura, Kamukura -”

Kamukura obligingly pulls off his jacket and shirt when clumsy hands pull at them, the feverish brightness in Naegi’s eyes and the sweat beading on his face indicating how far gone he is already. Naegi moans his name again as he licks at his chest.

“Is that all you can say?” Kamukura asks idly, undoing his belt calmly as nails drag down his abdomen and teeth worry at his nipple. It’s messy, and it nearly stings. He feels a flicker of heat begin to pool low in his stomach, eager to see just how far this lack of self-control will take them - how far he can truly _push._

“Kamukuraaa…”

Kamukura’s eyes drift towards the desk, eyeing the still half-full cup.

It would be a waste not to see how the full double dosage truly affects him. Guiding him to the table, Kamukura picks up the cup and holds it to Naegi’s lips, encouragingly grinding his thigh against his dripping erection.

“Drink, and I’ll let you fuck me.”

Naegi’s mouth opens easily, eyes hazy. Some of it drips from the corners of his mouth messily when he doesn’t swallow quickly enough, but the wastage doesn’t bother him. It simply provides him with an appropriate excuse to try this exercise again. Kamukura refrains from licking up the coffee dripping down Naegi’s smooth neck, opting to not join him in his drugged high.

It would simply be irresponsible to do so.

“Good boy,” Kamukura praises, turning and presenting himself as promised. Naegi eagerly lays himself over his back and mounts him, sliding inside. Kamukura sighs softly at the comforting embrace. It feels _good_ to be used.

Now, they’ve finally moved on to the main course. He’s bent over the desk, Naegi roughly taking him from behind.

Naegi mouths at his back as he fucks him, sucking in some bruises and gently grazing over the skin. It’s tantalizing. Naegi is so pliable like this, so ready to be broken and turned into something better. And so, Kamukura _pushes._

He lowers his voice, twists it into something tender and pleading. “Naegi, you can bite harder. I like it when you bite me.”

There’s a small moment of hesitation, before the rhythm resumes. He wonders if perhaps he hadn’t been heard.

Then, Kamukura nearly startles at the feeling of his skin splitting under Naegi’s teeth as he bites at his neck, thrusts growing rougher as he approaches his orgasm. It stings. A drop of warm blood snakes down from the junction of his neck, a streak of red left behind it. He idly swipes a finger through it, his mind burning with the sudden curiosity of _Naegi doing something unpredicted._

They’ve never ventured towards violence during intercourse. The absolute furthest would be Naegi pulling on his hair or taking him dry, and even that was only incidental pain at best. It was simply not in Naegi’s nature to truly hurt someone, let alone someone in bed with him. And yet, with enough pushing, here he was, biting until Kamukura bled.

A rush of arousal flares through him, so bright and hot that it makes him throb with need and his knees feel slightly weak.

“Do that again,” he breathes, reaching over his shoulder and placing a hand on Naegi’s head, encouraging him to keep his mouth there. The bite wound is still sluggishly dripping blood, the drops finding their way onto the desk beneath them.

And he does, teeth sinking in, biting down until the pressure splits skin. Kamukura’s cock _drools_ at the heady mixture of pain and pleasure, the opposing sensations twining around one another.

Kamukura sighs contentedly, petting Naegi’s head. “That feels good,” he says soothingly, aware of the chance of emotional backlash that Naegi could experience if he does not head it off with praise. In response, a hot tongue licks over the wound, digs slightly into it. Kamukura shivers. “Good, Naegi. That’s very good.”

Naegi hums and spreads the blood around his back when he kisses over more skin. He bites superficially a few more times as he idly moves his mouth around, nothing more than sharp nips that still make Kamukura jerk with surprise and need.

He wants _more._ He swipes a hand over his back, getting it slick and wet with blood, jerking himself off with the physical proof of how far he’s successfully pushed Naegi into accepting his depravity. It feels unbearably hot, the concept of it driving him further and further into his own orgasm as Naegi roughly thrusts into him. His cock is coated in red as he twists his hand around it, arousal sizzling under his skin as he watches it, mesmerized.

He wonders if he could convince Naegi to slick himself up with Kamukura’s blood too, fuck him with it. It would only take some more pushing. Tell him that the price of fucking him was to cut him, just a small cut at first - then bigger. And then more. Until he would do it all of his own volition. He could cut him, or bite him until they’re both coated in his blood, all red - 

He inhales sharply and smells blood and semen mixing together and that’s all it takes to bring him to the edge, coming against the side of the desk.

He drags Naegi along with him, hips stuttering and pressing flush against him. There’s disappointment in him when Naegi orgasms and does not bite again, instead burying his face against his slick back as his cock pulses inside of him.

Blunt nails scratch at his hips and thighs, trying to pull him closer, and the disappointment fades when he feels the barest, dim edges of pain.

“Harder,” he orders, much more sharply. He puts his hands over Naegi’s on his hips and forces his fingers to curl until they’re nearly cutting into him. “ _Harder._ ”

Naegi whimpers and obeys. And he bites, and scratches, and thrusts into him like he’s trying to hurt him.

“Good,” Kamukura pants, mind feeling somewhat numb.

He moans against his will when Naegi finally breaks the skin on his hips as he tries dragging him back harder onto his cock, and he comes again, white mixing with deliciously dark red.

* * *

Movement next to him awakens him from his light slumber. Naegi is shifting uneasily, twisting in the sheets and moaning. He ponders what he should do for a moment, before following his instincts and playing at being asleep. It may be for the best to wait and observe.

Naegi shoves the covers down, breathing shaky and unsteady. A wet dream? It's entirely possible, although by this point he should have flushed the aphrodisiac from his system. After some shuffling of clothing, Naegi groans.

"Kamukura?" His voice is thick with sleep and arousal, rough and quiet and needy. “Are you awake?”

He decides not to respond.

"Of course not…" Naegi breathes, a low, broken laugh following his defeated words.

Everything falls into perfect clarity when Naegi gently pushes his shoulder. His body warms with a flush of eager arousal, subtly assisting Naegi's pushing and going with the motion until he's on his front. His hair is pushed aside and pants eased down to his thighs by trembling hands. A dark, satisfied thrill shoots through him when Naegi’s cock presses against him.

He’s finally done it all on his own without needing drugs to alter his physical state. He’s _taking._ Kamukura’s insides shiver with excitement and he forces his body to relax, as limp as he would be if he were truly asleep, not that it matters in particular. He’s taken Naegi’s cock so often in the past weeks that it’s easy for him to press inside, soft and loose.

Naegi makes a sound of blissful relief mixed with a whimper when he presses all the way in, sheathing himself inside of Kamukura - inside of his precious partner that he believes to be asleep.

The euphoria of being claimed like this shocks him in its intensity. He’d been deeply satisfied upon waking up and _knowing_ he’d been used, but to be awake - to feel it, to experience it, to be forced to lie still and simply accept and give - it pales in comparison.

He had known that they’d finally stepped beyond the crudely drawn boundaries of what common, talentless people defined as proper when Naegi had sobbed out how much he enjoyed raping him, but to have _proof._ To have this finally being taken instead of forcibly given… Kamukura could not have dreamed of anything more satisfying.

It stings, almost, the dry drag as Naegi fucks him, despite how loose he’s become. The barest edge of pain fuels the burning arousal inside of him brighter, hotter.

He forces his body to remain still when Naegi scratches and claws at his hips, the old wounds there reopening slightly and the barest hint of blood slicking the hands grasping for better purchase to fuck him. His breathing nearly stutters when Naegi nips at his back, moaning and praising him for how _good_ he feels despite believing him to be unconscious, new bruises joining the smattering of half-healed scars and purple and blue bruises Naegi’s bitten into him.

Pinned under their weight, his cock throbs needily against the bed sheets, the sizzling burn inside of him making him feel as though his skin is too tight, ready to split.

He’s never felt quite this overcome with desire before. Every inch of him craves _more_ \- to be hurt more, used more.

Perhaps if Naegi prodded him again, asked him to awaken, yanked on his hair and dug his tongue into an open bite wound then his will would crumble and he’d give up his charade of being asleep. But he doesn’t. Naegi seems content to use him, scratch at him and suck bruises into his skin, light enough not to satisfy him completely, superficial enough not to make him bleed the right way.

So he stays limp and loose and perfectly receptive to Naegi’s thrusting as he ‘rapes’ him.

He’ll ask him again tomorrow if he prefers Kamukura asleep or awake. Now he’s not so sure of what answer he’ll get nor of what answer he prefers, and the fog of uncertainty makes him almost dizzy, faint. The world doesn’t feel quite as predictable. His stomach quivers and his cock twitches against it as he quietly orgasms, using every inch of training to stop himself from making a noise.

Naegi hums and fucks him harder, the twitching and spasming of muscles giving his orgasm away.

“He likes it… that much…” Naegi says to himself thoughtfully, worming a hand under him to feel his come, curling his palm around his dick before pulling back out and putting it back on his hip. The slick on his hand smears into the little cuts and scratches and _stings._ It’s enough to make his cock fill again. “Maybe… it’s not that bad… if he likes getting fucked so much…”

 _Yes._ Kamukura swallows slowly to stop himself from moaning.

If he needs to rationalize it, then Kamukura is perfectly willing to be used as his excuse. Let him do whatever he wants and blame it on him - he’d be happy to accept it all.

“ _Ah,_ fuck,” Naegi hisses, spilling inside of him after another moment. He breathes heavily before pulling out, his come leaking when Kamukura forces himself not to clench his hole to keep it inside. He makes a confused sound. “I’m not hard anymore…?”

It’s almost sweet, how put out he seems when he’s not being spurred on by aphrodisiacs to come over and over again. Kamukura would prefer more, but he can’t blame Naegi. He gave him a wonderful gift tonight, after all. A gift of finally _knowing,_ of feeling the truth behind their relationship - that Kamukura is something Naegi can use, and that Naegi _will_ use him.

He lies there as Naegi slowly recollects himself and pulls Kamukura’s pajamas back in place, seemingly content to leave the semen still seeping out of him. It’s messy, and his cock is still hard under him, but he resolutely stays in place until Naegi slips back into slumber.

When his breathing evens out, Kamukura reaches behind himself, pressing his fingers into his wet, loose hole and fucks himself on them, his other hand finding some fresh bites on his shoulders and digging into them until they bleed.

For once, it finally feels as though everything he wants is within reach. His work has paid off. He’s being utterly spoiled. Naegi has awoken desires inside of him, feeding them, slowly allowing him to build them into something bigger and hungrier until he’s been completely consumed by them.

His fingers push deeper, the skin parting and he imagines Naegi’s tongue digging into it, licking up his blood and kissing him, the warmth and iron shared between them. He twists his hand around his cockhead and comes again to the pain radiating from the bite wound.

Panting against his pillow, he watches Naegi’s sleeping face, already planning the steps they’ll take together until he’s split open under Naegi’s willing hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay time to crawl back into my cave and not write again for a month. I kind of have ideas of what I want to write next... but we'll see how long it takes to solidify and write it ;;


End file.
